You Too Are 1 In The 99 - A Lambs View

Luke 15:4-7  4 "If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won't he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.' In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven't strayed away!"

     Wow, the MEF (minds eye flash - dream) on this one!! From the view point of the lamb.

    One day, life is good. Following my family around and doing what we always do. No cares or worries. The leader, the Shepherd, always guides us to good spots to eat, run, and play. He sings songs of praise and thanks to His God. Then one day, things look better on the other side of that fence. I walk along the fence nibbling at the greens on the other side. "They DO taste better" I say as I look over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching me. Wow, none of the others even notice. Yay me! So I wander a bit farther. There it is. An opening in the fence. As I approach, I have this feeling deep inside, unlike any I have ever felt before. Not quite sure what it is, but it makes me hesitate before looking once again over my shoulder, and then stepping onto this fresh new ground. It's softer than what I was walking on. It has a deep fresh smell, like it has never been touched before. Everything on this side, seems to pop with sounds and smells. All of a sudden, there is a butterfly. Beautiful and majestic as it flutters here and there almost landing on me. I jump up at it with glee and it seems to like me! We start what seems to be like a little dance. Flutter, jump, fly and follow. Laughter fills the air as we have fun playing together in the open field. All of a sudden, I do this little stumble of a step. I look down, and the ground is different. There are some rocks mixed with the green grass along with some exposed areas of just plain dirt. My new butterfly friend is still with me and comes close to reassure me that they are still here with me. So, we gladly go along exploring the area we are in. We have entered the edge of a forest. This is something totally new to me! I've only ever been in the flat, open fields. I notice the way the sun is dancing in-between the branches and leaves. The sunbeams that shine in, are like mini spotlights shining on us as we play and move deeper in. The soft gentle breeze is gliding through the trees making the most wonderful music! It feels as though I am in a dream. Beautiful, mesmerizing and full of awe! The sound of crackling twigs as we run and jump while the crunching of the leaves that have fallen to the ground, becomes a game in itself. Just how many leaves and sticks can we land on and crunch?! We dart this way and that, as I try to land on as many as I can while my friend seems to guide me to more. Wow! This is SO fun!! 

     Up ahead is an area of different greens. More vibrant that I have ever seen. The smell is almost intoxicating as I sniff the air. I am drawn to it without even trying. My butterfly friend has slowed down their flutter, and lands low on some of the blades too. Between the vibrant color, the deep aromatic fragrance and the thick yet soft feel of this grass, I not only nibble some of it, but lay down in it too! Oh the luxury of it all! Oh THIS is where we all need to eat and be! The warmth of the sun dances on us through the leaves as the refreshing shade blinks off and on over us. Then, as if on cue, we both jump up and begin our play again! Oh the pure joy I am having! We run and play more and more. Now, the ground is changing again. I am actually having to look at nearly every step as my friend flutters and darts this way and that. The ground is harder. The stones are bigger. There are holes in the ground. Fallen trees and logs that seems to crumble under us when we step on them. It isn't until I nearly fall down a long hill, as my foot slips on one of my jumps - that I notice just how different this place is. 

     I now have a different feeling inside. One I have never felt before in the safety of my family and the Shepherd. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it makes me stop abruptly in my tracks! It causes me to look around. To actually SEE where I am. Oh no! This is not the field or anywhere near it! I don't even see the fence! The ground is no longer green! I look at my butterfly friend, who is fluttering in circles around me. There is no longer laughter filling the air. I look at my friend for help, but they seem to just want to continue to play. I look back, to the side, then to the front as I try and decide "which way did we come from?" I feel something else I have never felt before. I feel sick to my stomach. I start to look even harder, faster - this way and that. When I notice my butterfly friend has fluttered up even higher and off away from me. I realize, that I am alone. I start to run in what I think was the way we came from. I stop. This doesn't look right. I run in the other direction. I stop. This doesn't look right. Now, I feel something else I have never felt before: my heart is racing, I can't think, and even though my eyes are WIDE open, I cannot see correctly. Mix this with the sick feeling I now feel something else. It is making my heart race, my stomach flip flop, my eyes blur, and my legs weak. I am overcome with uncontrollable shaking. Things seem to be spinning around me. Then my eyes start leaking, making it even harder to see. Now, something from way deep inside starts to rumble and twist its way up through my body. As I stand in the middle of this unknown place, I am overcome with all of these emotions and feelings, and lack of control.... when all of a sudden this sound comes from deep inside my gut and out my lips. It is a sound I have never heard from anyone before nor did I even know it existed inside of me! There was no controlling it. It seemed to just spring up and out of me. It seemed to come from deep in my heart and soul. Bellowing, wrenching, inside out - it was the sound of a cry and a holler mixed with panic, fear, shame and guilt. Then as if I couldn't take another new sensation, the overwhelming sobs turned to convulsions of this cry, tears, pain, and now I am unable to breathe. I'm crying out and the sounds just seem to bounce back at me off the trees. Mocking me and my choices. Taunting me with woulda-coulda-shoulda's. 

     I start to run again. Looking for anything that looks like the way we had come earlier. The sun is no longer dancing like it was before. The warmth is fading with each beam of light that fades around me. I suck in a deep breath, and look around, trying to have clear thoughts. Which way is right? Which way do I go? Then, without warning, the words that I couldn't fully understand a little bit ago, start to shout at me from the trees as if they are rocks being hurled at me. "What were you thinking?!" "You just couldn't be satisfied!" "You always look for something different!" "Your family is going to be so disappointed!" "You never pay attention!" "You wanted the 'easy' way, now you've got it!" "You are in so much trouble!" "Now you've done it, you are on your own forever!" "You can't do anything right!" "You are such a loser, a big fat failure!" "No more family for you - you are on your own now!" Each time something gets thrown at me, I try to explain my reasoning's, but I quickly get cut off with even more accusations. I feel utterly lost and hopeless. Beat up. Broken. I fall to my knees and just weep. I realize that I made some poor choices today. In the midst of fun, I ignored the little voice inside warning me and trying to get me to turn back. Now, as the sun fades and the singing of the leaves dies down, I start to hear other sounds. 

     The trees are not looking so friendly any more. The music has turned to sharp, quick sounds of snaps and cracks. What once was warm and inviting, is now cold and pressing. I start to feel like someone or something is watching me. I look this way and that. Cry out. Nothing. The sounds stop. Then quickly the quiet changes and almost rumbles with harsh, pressing, suffocating sounds. I panic again and start to run. As I'm looking over my shoulder at the sounds that are running after me, I trip and fall. The once fun sound of the leaves and twigs is now causing me harm as I am sliding down a hill, tumbling, bumping, rolling - stones, leaves, logs, dirt - then as if I couldn't endure one more blow to my body - wham! I hit a big boulder and then drop into darkness. Darkness that is so cold and tight. The air is so cold it feels wet. The smell so wet, it takes my breath away. The breath I can take in tastes like dirt squeezing me tight. As I get back on my feet, my eyes start to focus in the little bit of light that is here. I can actually see the edge of where I entered this pit, but I cannot reach it. I jump. Nope. Still cannot reach it. I look around for something to climb on. Nothing. I stop. Stare. Look around. Freeze. It is as if there is absolutely nothing in my head. No thoughts. No actions. Numbness takes over as I stand there blocked out from all reality. Time is irrelevant now. Everything is gone. There is nothing. 

     Time has stood still. I take in a deep breath and blink to break the wet covering over my eyes that has blocked my vision with a thick layer of blur. Now, I see where I am. Feel the depth of loss from where I was. I have a deep sensation of an emptiness inside my heart and soul at my family I have left behind and the pain I must be causing them. Shame. Regret. Sadness. Alone. Lost. Then, something happens. I remember the sounds of my family as we were in the safety of the Shepherd. The soft sounds everyone makes calling out to the Shepherd. THEN, I remember the sounds that the Shepherd makes to us! The soft songs that filled my heart with gladness. Then, I realize, that I am here because of choices I made. The day unfolded due to my selfishness and lack of care and concern for others. Something strange happens as I realize this. I start to cry out with my choices and actions from the day. Well, actually of even days and years before this... my choices and actions that have lead up to this day. I start crying out to Someone - why I don't know, but I do. It is as though I KNOW there is someone or something bigger than me, with more power, and ability to hear me and help me through this. At first, it is strange to name something that I have done, and actually take ownership of my part in it. But then, as more things come to mind, I start jumping on them even faster and telling out loud my part in it. As each thing comes to mind, and I confess it, a STRANGE thing happens! It is as if I am getting lifted up. Cleaned. Fresh. Emptied of those tormenting negative things that were being thrown at me. It is like the stones of wrong, are being replaced by steps of right. As I continue this cleansing time of confessing the things I have done to get me here where I am, I start singing a new song. Instead of cries of emptiness, I am now singing with hope. This continues for I don't even know how long. Exhausted and weak my eyelids seem to gain weight that pulls heavy on my whole body. First my legs fold and I lay down. Then my head lowers to my legs. Humming softer now, as my head bobbles to the side and pops back up quickly, I begin to drift between blinks of my now heavy eyelids.

     I wake to a soft fluttering sound around my ears. Opening one eye then the other. Blinking at the blur and distortion that my eyes see. As my eyes begin to focus, I see that I was not dreaming, but indeed had gotten myself into a fine mess. However, as I hear that sound again, the fluttering near my ears, I look around and see my friend the butterfly! Oh my goodness!! The joy and overwhelming comfort I feel that I am no longer alone! I tell my friend all of what happened. My fresh cleansing of my soul and all that I had done getting to this point. I share how, I am trusting that the "person" I was talking to in here, was God. That God will provide, because that is what my family believed and shared SO many times with me. As if on command, the sun starting rising, and the light that flooded the place where I was started to surround me with warmth. I could see that there was light shining through many open pin-holes in the ground above me. As I look towards the lights, they seem to lead to a path that gets brighter and brighter. My friend starts to flitter towards them. I stop for a minute and say a soft "thank You" to the One who was with me through the long night. I turn and follow my butterfly friend towards the beams of light as well.

     Each step seems to be like new life. I am walking towards warmth, love, acceptance - just like I am - dirt and all. We don't get very far, and the explosion of light hits with such blinding force, that I gasp as I step into its warmth. Closing my eyes, I step into the full engulfing warmth. As I am simply breathing this in - the feeling of warmth gets tighter, then I hear the soft sounds of a song. The song I hear each day. Almost like a whisper that feels like it is lifting me up and into the air. I take in yet another deep breath and smile at this memory. This feeling. As I slowly open my eyes expecting to see just my friend the butterfly, I am overwhelmed with shock as I see the Shepherds face coming in close to mine! Tender, loving, cooing soft words of comfort, tears, and a BIG smile! Oh my!!! The flood of emotions that hit me take control of my body and I start shaking, quivering, crying, laughing, smiling... then the warmth of His embrace is like I have never felt (or appreciated) before!! He found me!! He really found me!! The flood of emotions that He actually came looking for me - and in this big strange area, He found me! He starts tenderly looking me over, to make sure I am not hurt. He starts picking all of the sticks and leaves off of me. He pulls out a flask of fresh water, and cups His hands offering it to me. I look at it as if I can't believe it is real. I dip and sip. It is real!! This IS really happening! Again, I feel the loving tender hands of the Shepherd brushing me and cleaning me up. After I have had several drinks of this refreshing water, He then reaches into His pocket and pulls out some of the BEST most beautiful greens I have EVER seen!! Even better than the ones on this side of the fence!! Then, it hits me. My Shepherd came looking for me! Oh the flood of emotions that hit me! The shame of all He had to go through to find me. I was all over the place! The ground was hard, rocky, dirty, and full of pain - oh what He must have gone through just to fine ME?!?! As I start to slump in this realization, He stops His brushing and tending to me. He looks me straight in the eyes, cups my face, and lifts my head up to look right at Him and tenderly, in almost a whisper says, "You were lost, but now you are found." Then as if He sensed my unbelief, He said with just as much tenderness but firmness in a louder more joyous voice, "You were lost. Now, you are found." I look at Him and blink. All of a sudden He scoops me up in His arms, and spins me around with the most exhilarating gladness and in a much louder cry of celebration says, "You were lost! Now YOU are found!" In one fell-swoop He draws me close with the deepest, warmest hug of joy and then lifts me up onto His shoulders! He starts the walk back home with me on His shoulders. While we walk, He sings softly to me words of affirmation and encouragement. How brave I must have been. That I did good making it through the night. That I remembered His voice and sang back His songs.... I felt so unworthy of His praise, and yet He didn't stop. He just kept breaking down all of the negative things with positive ones. Pretty soon, I was believing His words. Pretty soon, I understood what His songs really meant that He sang to us each and every day. Now, they were REAL and had TRUE meaning to me! Each step of the way back, gave me more and more strength. Each step He took built me up on the inside. Each step He took made me realize just what He did, what He went through to come find me, and that He will NEVER leave me. Oh the pure joy that floods me!

     Up ahead, an area of this wilderness that we just came through, I see the rest of the flock. It dawns on me: He left all 99 of them! He LEFT THEM, to come FIND ME! I am flooded with emotions, joy, relief, honor... As we get closer, He then starts quickening His step with almost skipping. The joy that is pouring out of Him comes out in even louder songs of praise and thanks to God for His being able to rescue me! He shouts to the other people as we pass them, to come and join Him as he sets up a banquet in honor of me being found and home again. His joy is contagious, and His rejoicing is inviting, His love is infectious! Everyone is excited and rejoicing too! I once was "lost" but now, I am truly "found".

     Do you see it?!?! WE are the one lamb that Jesus comes to find! No matter how far we have wandered, not matter what trouble we have been in or even caused. No matter how "dirty" we have gotten. No matter what shiny butterfly we have chased in the middle of what looked like 'fun' - He DOES and WILL come looking for us! He literally went to hell, in our place - so a little mud and muck of the mess in our lives, is nothing compared to that! You cannot be bad enough that He won't love you. You can't. He has already suffered for you and THIS very moment, knowing exactly where you are, what you have or have not done. There is NOTHING that can change His love towards you! If you have run into the wilderness, and chased shiny objects, and even fallen into a pit - you just have to bend down, confess of your part in things, and trust that He is right there ready to lift you up and clean you off and rejoice at you returning home!! He's going to carry you. You do NOT have to try and find your way out of the wilderness on your own - you don't! 


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